God's Faithfulness

While in the shower today {doesn't everyone do their best thinking in the shower? Probably a sign that our lives are too full of other distractions throughout the day} -- I was thinking about God's faithfulness. As I return to work this week after a wonderful maternity leave spent getting to know my baby, my thoughts have ranged from anxiousness and sadness to thankfulness and a willing spirit to obey God's will for this life stage. So often we think we know best for our lives, when really we need to trust that God's plan is the ultimate best. Trusting and being full of faith are difficult for me -- I am a self confessed control freak. I know it about myself, I don't like it, but alas the character quality is so ingrained in my personality. Reflecting on this concept today, I was reminded of the many times in which the Lord has come through for me and shown his loving kindness and faithfulness for our family.

• He created a husband just for me and allowed us to meet at a young age. (so glad I never had to date as an adult! -- I'd be awful!) 
• He provided for us financially while both Sean and I finished grad school. 
• He opened doors to a job the same week we moved to Fayetteville. 
• He has given us a spectacular group of friends to live life with here in NWA. 
• He chose us to be Carson's parents, allowing me a healthy pregnancy and delivery. 
• He answered my prayers to remove my anxiety just after Carson was born and has increased my confidence ten fold. 
• He provided a flexible job to ease the idea of working as a mom.

He has been so faithful to our family, yet I still struggle with doubt. It's human nature, I guess. I know He will continue to be faithful {which I understand doesn't always mean everything will go my way} as I embark on the journey of becoming a working mom. I'm sure there will be times when my heart aches being away from her, but I have promised myself and Sean that I will give it a fair shot. I will choose to have a good attitude about working and give it enough time to make an educated decision, instead of one based purely on emotion.

Early in my maternity leave I read this scripture and have fallen in love with it!

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Ps. 51:12"

Here's to a new adventure, one with joy and a willing spirit!

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