Who am I living for?

I've had to ask myself this question quite frequently and honestly it gets a bit old after a while. Why do we know something, even an absolute truth, one minute and the next minute fail to remember that same idea? There's a constant tension, in my life anyways, between what God calls me to do and what the world asks of me. I can't think of a good example to liken this to, but here's what I've got. I know a 4 year old who, when learning to write, always wrote his 'R's backwards...every time. Others would critique the handwriting and he would then correctly write an 'R'. Next time, though, he reverted to his reverted R status. I feel just like a 4-year-old at times...I'm lovingly corrected by my Father, but seem magnetized to false truths and worldly standards.

I'm a classic type A personality, through and through. Since a young age I was interested in pleasing those around me through my hard work and loved the recognition I received - from others and myself. I know that my perseverance will get me somewhere in life...or at least that's what I'm told. That begs the questions...Where do I want to go in life? Who do I want to most please? Whose truth will I choose to listen to?

This morning I was reading in Thessalonians and ran across these words:
We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts... We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else. 1 Thess 1:4b and 6

What a difficult truth for me to live out on a daily basis! I know it, but forget it often. Strange, huh? My heart wants to value only God's opinion, but my mind knows how good it feels to have compliments or approval from man. I guess I don't really have an answer to these issues...actually I know I don't have an answer. I do know, however, that I am completely a work-in-progress and will let my Master mold me into the woman he desires me to be from an eternal perspective. Maybe tomorrow I will have the answer. :) My type-A personality would sure like that!

1 comment:

  1. Brilliant post! Wise beyond your years! Your heart for the Lord is a joy and an inspiration to be around. Thanks for sharing. I totally relate to what you wrote. A constant struggle to live my life for God's glory and not my own.
    Love you so much Nicole.